By Martin | Wednesday, March 27, 2019 | 2:59 PM
Groundhog Day is gone and the presidents have celebrated their birthday. To the calendar-sensitive person that can only mean one thing. It’s almost time for the two greatest team sports ever invented, baseball and June weddings. I say team sports because most weddings involve a bride, a groom, a minister, a singer, a musician, a florist, a photographer, bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, and in weddings where the two families hate each other a SWAT Team.
Weddings are usually held together by a wedding coordinator. In my case she was a retired dungeon master from a medieval torture chamber. (I’m not saying she was rough but when piranha met her on the street they stopped and bowed.) The final part of the wedding is the honeymoon. This is just filler until the husband can get to the house and settle in to his natural habitat of recliner in the den, waiting patiently for the next sporting event or hunting season.
The most important item to consider in a wedding is what the last names of the betrothed couple would look like when they are listed together on the engagement page of the local newspaper or website. Admit it. You’ve laughed at some of the combinations before. However, the following are fictitious couplings that hopefully will stay that way because they could look very awkward on paper or screen. If Joan Sevier married William Payne it would be the Sevier-Payne wedding. Instead of rice they throw Tylenol. If Meredith Babb had married a man from South Korea named Kim Oon it would have been the Babb-Oon wedding. If Alberta Passida married Dale Buck it would be the Passida-Buck wedding. Perfect. If anything goes wrong nobody takes the blame.
What if Elizabeth Tinpenney married Gerald Nail? You could have attended the Tinpenney-Nail wedding. The ceremony was boring, but at the reception everyone got hammered. If Evelyn Moon marries George Shiner it creates the Moon-Shiner wedding. Special music provided by Rafe Hollister with Andy Griffith on guitar. If Gina Abbott marries Jerry Costello you have the Abbott-Costello wedding. Who’s the preacher? I don’t know. No, he’s the singer. Finally, if Catherine Sitton Onderdokov married Gabriel Abay it would be the Sitton Onderdokov-Abay wedding. Music provided by Otis Redding.
Every wedding is important and takes lots of planning. The bride and groom remember it for a long time. Well, at least the bride does. The Church (and not just the Baptist church) is the Bride of Christ. In this marriage relationship the roles are reversed. While the Groom never fails, the Bride (Church) sometimes forgets her vows and we just sit around in our church recliners not doing what Christ has commanded. Matthew 28:19-20 says, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the earth” (NIV).
Just like some names don’t belong together in a newspaper, the Church sometimes has that same attitude about people joining us. We think they don’t belong because they are not like us. They might not fit in. It might be awkward. Wrong answer. The scripture says “make disciples of all nations,” not just white middle-class America. Christ died for His Bride, the Church. The Christ-Church wedding. It’s got a nice ring to it. The names look good together. It’s a marriage truly made in Heaven.